Elephant Parenting Type: Examples and Results

Today, many dad and mom are rightly keen to know, and even give a reputation to their parenting fashion. Figuring out how their values align with potential parenting choices could make this powerful job a bit simpler—and also you may be to know that even your technology can dictate your parenting fashion—however some dad and mom understandably want a bit assist relating to determining what class they fall into.

The parenting fashion craze arguably began all the best way again in 2011, when Yale legislation professor Amy Chua revealed the ebook Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mom. Three years later one other time period made its manner into the parenting fashion lexicon as a response to the tiger mother or father. Enter, the elephant mother or father, which is gaining extra recognition alongside different parenting types like permissive parenting.

In a 2014 article in The Atlantic, creator Priyanka Sharma-Sindhar outlined this softer strategy to baby rearing, which she dubbed elephant parenting. Since then, it has continued to achieve momentum, rising particularly fashionable over the previous few years.

“Elephant parenting is a part of a larger motion in the direction of emphasizing emotional attunement and nurturing as important parts of parenting,” says Michelle Fanciullo, a psychologist, with Hackensack College Medical Heart, who focuses on scientific baby psychology. “It has emerged lately alongside mild parenting as a parenting strategy.”

This is a more in-depth take a look at what elephant parenting includes and how one can inform if it is a fashion you are already implementing or may need to implement.

What Is an Elephant Mother or father? 

Elephant moms within the wild are well-known for being nurturing and protecting of their younger. It is common, for example, to see a younger elephant scampering towards its mom in moments when hazard may be close to. The elephant parenting pattern amongst people emphasizes a equally mild, loving strategy. 

“Provided that elephants are recognized to be nurturing and extremely protecting of their younger and maintain their younger shut by, this time period was adopted to explain individuals who centered their parenting round a extra nurturing relationship with their baby, one centered on love, care and protectiveness,” says developmental psychologist Tovah Klein, creator of Elevating Resilience: How one can Assist our Youngsters Thrive in Occasions of Uncertainty.

Elephant parenting additionally locations vital emphasis on permitting area for kids to specific their emotions and wishes. And offering that area for kids’s feelings usually takes priority over tutorial success—and intensive analysis reveals that honoring kids’s feelings and educating them emotional regulation is vital to their well-being and wholesome improvement.

In recent times, extra consideration is being paid to “youngsters’ emotional intelligence and psychological well being, which works together with this pattern,” says Daisy Vergara, founder and CEO of Ohana Behavioral Well being and a psychological well being counselor for ladies and kids. “This pattern is rising as a result of dad and mom are attempting to be extra understanding and accepting of their youngsters’ emotions to be able to make them really feel protected and certain of themselves,” Vergara provides.

This elephant fashion of elevating kids could also be particularly applicable for folks who worth emotional connection and need to construct a powerful bond with kids, continues Vergara. It may also be useful for households with kids who’re neurodivergent, have larger emotional wants, or for households that put explicit emphasis on the position of feelings in psychological well being.

Indicators You’re an Elephant Mother or father

So, how will you inform should you’re an elephant mother or father? There are some widespread traits of this parenting strategy that consultants say may help gauge whether or not it is a method you have already adopted, or need to undertake sooner or later.

You are nurturing

Elephant dad and mom put substantial effort into making their dwelling a heat and caring place. They take the time to attach with their kids and provide consolation and emotional assist, says Vergara.

You’re protecting

Defending youngsters from hazard is the job of all dad and mom, however it’s a central tenet of elephant parenting, as is ensuring kids really feel protected. “Elephant dad and mom are very involved concerning the security of their kids and reply shortly in the event that they see a risk” says Vergara.

Your youngsters are comfy asking for assist

Youngsters with elephant dad and mom are sometimes extra inclined to really feel comfy asking for assist and speaking about their issues with the adults of their lives, as a result of they know their dad and mom will reply with understanding and assist, Vergara explains.

You encourage emotional expression

Serving to kids regulate their massive emotions is an enormous a part of being an elephant mother or father. On prime of that, elephant dad and mom usually train their kids to acknowledge and specific their feelings, says Vergara. This helps them develop into extra emotionally clever and enhance their social expertise.

Your baby views you as a protected place

Youngsters of elephant dad and mom know that they’ll come to their dad and mom in response to each constructive and damaging occasions of their life with out worry, says Fanciullo. Elephant dad and mom aren’t there to yell, punish, or scold their kids however reasonably information them by way of difficult conditions with compassion. 

You give attention to exploration over achievement

In distinction to the tiger mother or father, elephant dad and mom are much less more likely to give attention to or strain their kids to do nicely academically or athletically, says Katie Elish, a psychologist at Intermountain Main Youngsters’s Hospital whose work consists of the behavioral well being and improvement of kids. Whereas elephant dad and mom nonetheless worth tutorial achievement, they might as an alternative prioritize “exploration and give attention to impartial studying and id constructing,” says Elish. 

You emphasize flexibility and selection

Elephant dad and mom could also be apt to offer their kids with elevated alternative for selection and suppleness of their day by day routines and actions, says Elish. Elephant dad and mom emphasize a way of autonomy of their kids, and reasonably than making choices about what topics they need to research in class or what extracurricular actions they need to participate in, elephant dad and mom permit their youngsters to make these selections for themselves or discover many various pursuits earlier than deciding on one space.  

The Advantages of Elephant Parenting

Whereas scientific research have but to be performed on the impacts of elephant parenting, there may be analysis detailing useful outcomes linked to a few of the attributes encompassed by this parenting fashion.

“Earlier analysis has advised a number of advantages from comparable nurturing parenting types,” says Elish. “Particular examples embody enhanced emotional well-being, a stronger parent-child bond, elevated resilience, and fostering of independence.”

This is a more in-depth take a look at a few of the advantages that may outcome from elephant parenting.

Independence

Elephant parenting helps kids type safe attachments. This in flip has been proven to be essential for a kid’s subsequent independence as a result of it offers “the ‘safe base’ essential to discover, study and relate, and the wellbeing, motivation, and alternative to take action,” in line with one research. Safe attachments may also be the muse they should develop wholesome relationships in maturity too.

Prosocial habits

An particularly loving bond between mother or father and baby early in life has been proven to “considerably improve the kid’s tendency to be ‘prosocial’ and act with kindness and empathy in the direction of others,” in line with a research performed by the College of Cambridge. The research additionally discovered kids raised with these values additionally possess socially fascinating behaviors reminiscent of helpfulness, generosity, and a need to volunteer.

Improved psychological well being

Individuals who expertise heat and loving relationships with their dad and mom from round age three are likely to have fewer psychological well being issues, in line with the identical College of Cambridge research.

Resilience

The supportive, secure and loving dwelling life offered by elephant parenting helps kids develop into extra resilient and ready to deal with difficulties and stress by way of wholesome methods.

The Drawbacks of Elephant Parenting

There are additionally some potential pitfalls of elephant parenting that individuals who join with this parenting philosophy ought to take into accout.

“Elephant dad and mom could also be extra more likely to validate feelings and permit flexibility and selections. Nevertheless, some dad and mom might mistake this flexibility and emotional validation for permitting the kid to set the principles, which is the place this parenting fashion can develop into permissive,” says Fanciullo. “You will need to keep in mind that elephant parenting and mild boundary setting can coexist.”

Vergara, in the meantime, cautions that in some instances, kids of elephant dad and mom might not “study to be impartial or resolve issues when they’re constantly sheltered.”

“Dependence on household assist might make them much less able to dealing with issues on their very own,” Vergara provides.

Equally, Vergara continues, kids that rely an excessive amount of on their dad and mom for emotional assist can have a troublesome time creating their very own identities and making choices on their very own. 

Lastly, there may be the potential for veering into helicopter parenting. 

“There’s a positive line between being concerned and being overly concerned. Should you aren’t cautious, elephant parenting can flip into helicopter parenting, which may cease your baby from turning into impartial,” says Vergara.