Why I Watched the Cowboys Cheerleaders Present With My Tween

I like watching dance, cheerleading, and gymnastics performances though they have been by no means “my factor.” I used to be a cheerleader for one season by way of my native little league, got here down with the flu earlier than our remaining showcase, and by no means picked up a pom pom once more. I attempted dance—each jazz and ballet—however might by no means nail the choreography, informed I used to be too curvy to ever get on pointe and however, was all the time a beat behind.

However I used to be all the time in awe of those that had the stamina, drive, expertise (and physique kind). Motion pictures like Heart Stage and Convey It On rank up there as all-time favorites the place I do know each phrase and each little bit of choreography. My world stops for the gymnastics portion of the Summer time Olympics. And if I catch a aggressive cheerleading competitors airing on ESPN, my plans are instantly canceled. 

So, in fact, the Netflix docuseries America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders was must-see TV. When it caught the eye of my 9-year-old daughter, I used to be thrilled to observe it collectively.

I’m properly conscious of the controversy surrounding the present. The best way the cheerleaders are objectified of their scantily clad outfits, the inequity in pay (reportedly, Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders make round $400 per recreation the place main soccer gamers could make tens of millions), the considerations round their psychological well being, private security, and bodily wellbeing are simply a number of the many points up for debate upon viewing.

Nevertheless, I did not hesitate to permit my daughter to observe with me. As she’s starting to deal with her personal passions and goals, I needed to make use of the present for example of what that path would possibly appear like—the nice, the unhealthy, and the disappointing. Like me, dance, cheerleading, or gymnastics are usually not in my daughter’s future. The theater is the place her coronary heart lies and touchdown that dream position will take the identical dedication, observe, dedication, and focus seen on America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. It’s one other trade with no ensures, intense criticism, fixed trial and error, and the necessity to hype your self up and keep targeted earlier than attaining even the smallest breakthrough.  

All About ‘America’s Sweethearts’ on Netflix

The primary two episodes of America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders deal with the grueling and emotional audition course of. Even for those who’re a “veteran” cheerleader with a number of years of expertise on the group, you will need to audition together with the first-timers, aka “rookies” to earn again your spot.

Cuts are made within the first spherical of video submissions and proceed as women fly to Dallas from all around the nation for the in-person dance performances. Even for those who make it to coaching camp—held simply weeks earlier than the primary recreation of the season—you’re preventing for one in every of 36 spots till the tip.

DCC Director Kelli Finglass and head choreographer Judy Trammell fastidiously dissect extra than simply the women’ dance and cheerleading expertise. Their hair, make-up, wax jobs, peak, and weight are considered.  To an untrained eye, the women seem like bigger than life and able to hit the sector on recreation day. However Finglass and Trammell discover even the slightest bent knee, crooked arm, awkward smile, sloppy posture, or trace of fatigue. They even get makeovers the place we see Finglass inform one hopeful rookie to dye her blonde locks brown. Regardless of the drastic change, she was nonetheless lower.

As my daughter Mila watched, she merely needed to search out the most effective in all the women. Mila even took out her personal notepad, wrote down every lady’s title, and scored them herself—all incomes a ten out of ten. She turned teary-eyed as women have been informed they weren’t prepared for the group this 12 months and given an inventory of issues to work on for subsequent 12 months.

Mila turned extraordinarily involved and linked to Victoria Kalina, a veteran Dallas Cowboy cheerleader making an attempt out for her 4th 12 months.  Mila tried to know how somebody so stunning and gifted might nonetheless wrestle with their vanity and confidence.

Victoria’s honesty was boundless as she mentioned taking a season off after the COVID-19 pandemic to deal with her psychological well being and struggles with meals. Mila could not have fully understood Victoria’s internal battles however breathed a sigh of aid when she did certainly make the group.   

TV Exhibits As Dialog Starters

Right here’s the factor—as a mother,  America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders was the dialog starter I didn’t know we wanted. The questions, feedback, and chats haven’t stopped.

Sarah Keating, MEd, the Vice President, Woman Scout Expertise of the Ladies Scouts of the USA (GSUSA) agrees watching TV along with your tween or teen youngster is usually a highly effective and enjoyable bonding expertise. It opens up alternatives for connection, understanding, and dialog. That may be a tough feat at these ages.

“Psychologists have noticed that when youth and fogeys share an expertise of watching one thing troublesome or difficult on TV, they’re extra prone to discuss to their mother and father about it if (or when) they encounter it in actual life,” explains Keating.

The conversations Mila and I’ve touched on due to America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders have ranged from physique picture and self-worth to following passions (even once they can result in nice disappointment). I’m ready to make use of my very own experiences to drive lots of the conversations. I’ve struggled drastically with my physique picture and selected a career that whereas not bodily demanding, is extremely aggressive and stuffed with disappointments.  Mila was stunned how the women have been criticized continuously (even the “stars” of the group) but took it with a stunning smile and a “sure ma’am.”

I put on my feelings throughout my face and have a tricky time being “well mannered” once I really feel attacked. So, I needed skilled recommendation on delving into the large matters this present highlights. Resilience, being the underdog, and accepting that rejection is a part of life may be extra triggering to speak about than I anticipated!

So, listed here are skilled suggestions on speaking about physique picture, rejection, psychological well being, and the stamina wanted to comply with passions (irrespective of the stakes) along with your tween and youths whether or not you’re watching America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders with them or not!

Turning Round The Physique Picture Dialog

Because the cheerleaders are fitted for his or her infamously skimpy uniforms—booty shorts, halter shirt, and boots—it’s made clear that your uniform should match during the season. There aren’t any alterations made for weight acquire or weight reduction. It’s lots of stress that the common lady could not undergo precisely—however they’ll relate to it.

Current GSUSA analysis performed with Wakefield exhibits {that a} quarter of ladies as younger as 5 years outdated say their physique and the way in which it appears to be like is one in every of their high considerations. This quantity almost doubles (43%) when women are 8-10 years outdated. These numbers have been half of a bigger survey about loneliness in women.

Keating suggests for those who’re watching America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders along with your tween or teen it is best to stability what you’re seeing by making different observations, similar to how sturdy and assured the individuals are.

“Turning the dialog to empowerment and character will open the dialog and make it extra related to tweens and youths. You’ll be able to discuss to your lady about society’s magnificence requirements in addition to what she thinks makes somebody stunning,” says Keating. “Do not forget that the common American lady wears a measurement 16. Ask your tween/teen if the common lady’s physique is seen wherever on the display?”

Serving to your tween/teen see that what’s proven to us within the media isn’t really the norm might help her really feel higher about her personal physique and notice that the pores and skin she’s in isn’t too huge, too small, too something. She’s fantastic simply the way in which she is.” 

Kate Daley, MA, LPCC, RDN, a main therapist for Athlete EDGE at EDCare suggests reframing feedback by celebrating what the athletes’ our bodies are able to doing to assist shift the main target to capability fairly than aesthetics.

“Weight and physique composition are two of a minimum of 40 components that affect sports activities efficiency, so figuring out and discussing different crucial components displayed within the present like resilience, dedication, and dedication to coaching might help younger women acknowledge that efficiency depends on a lot greater than how their physique appears to be like,” she explains.  

Daley provides that oldsters and coaches additionally play a crucial position in modeling with regards to physique picture.

“It is important to display a balanced perspective in the direction of physique picture and diet,” she explains. “The best way coaches and fogeys discuss and deal with their very own our bodies considerably influences how kids and athletes understand and look after themselves.”

Psychological Well being Acceptance in Sports activities

Heavy matters are addressed all through America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. Kalina is open all through the sequence about her struggles with melancholy and an consuming dysfunction. Different rookie and veteran cheerleaders share they’re going by way of grief and nervousness.

Then there’s the bodily calls for of being a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader, inflicting many to have hip surgical procedure earlier than they’re 30 or retire sooner than deliberate—which in flip takes a toll on their psychological well being and frame of mind.

I overtly discuss to my daughter about how I endure from nervousness (Inside Out 2 was a beautiful jumping-off level too) and know that she goes by way of bouts of it herself. Nevertheless it was eye-opening for her to observe ladies on TV—who she considered as “having all of it collectively”—focus on the darkness of their psychological well being, affecting their lives and careers. 

Daley believes it is crucial to not skirt round these matters as a result of acknowledging the prevalence of psychological well being points in sports activities and normalizing that it’s okay to wrestle can considerably assist people really feel extra snug in searching for help.

“When introducing these matters, particularly for the primary time, it is essential to create a protected and supportive surroundings. Encourage open dialogue and make it clear that searching for assist or recommendation is an indication of energy, not weak spot, “ says Daley. “Mother and father, caregivers, and coaches play a vital position in modeling constructive behaviors for younger athletes.”

Following Your Ardour(s) Regardless of Rejection

Within the present, there aren’t any ensures that veterans will make the group. Ladies come from all around the nation with dedication, able to put within the onerous work and make any sacrifices wanted—with no backup plan.

What was most inspiring to each me and Mila was how gracefully the women dealt with rejection.  After all, they cried or tearfully known as their mothers to share the devastating information that they have been coming dwelling. Virtually all walked away with a renewed spirit and an “I’ll present you” perspective, prepared to return again stronger subsequent 12 months.

I imply, how will you not really feel impressed by that perspective? Whereas it’s not straightforward in the intervening time to see the positives whereas in the throes of disappointment and heartbreak, it’s an important life talent that I’d love for my daughter to be taught sooner fairly than later, particularly if she’s going to pursue theater which like Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders is all about judgment, rejection, and harsh criticism.

Keating suggests asking your tween/teen what would possibly encourage them to place themselves in a high-stakes state of affairs just like the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders. What sort of a help system would they wish to should get them by way of it? Share your personal experiences and discuss coping expertise for pleasure, stress, and disappointment.

“Remind your teen/tween that some individuals are naturally higher at some issues than others, so irrespective of how onerous your daughter tries, there’s an opportunity that she could by no means precisely match one other youngster’s success—and that’s OK!” says Keating. “The very last thing you’d need is for her to surrender on a ardour simply because she didn’t get first place or get picked for a solo efficiency. Serving to her see what she has to supply, and that another youngsters may be jealous of her talents may give her confidence and assist her really feel happy with her personal accomplishments, even when they don’t precisely match these of her pals or classmates.”