I believe that girl simply known as me a pedophile.
That’s what went via my thoughts after I was as soon as a part of a panel of at-home dads on a syndicated discuss present. The primary query (extra of an outlandish assertion than a query) got here from a mom who stated she would by no means depart her daughter alone with a stay-at-home dad (SAHD). She was afraid a person serving to her little one within the rest room wouldn’t be capable of management himself. You recognize, as a result of we will’t be trusted round a prepubescent vagina. She had seen some dangerous stuff go down … as soon as on an episode of Regulation & Order.
As loopy as this girl sounded, it made me assume: She will be able to’t be the one one who feels this manner. Different points raised by the viewers had been much less controversial however no much less ridiculous. Right here’s the precise TV section:
Primarily based on that have, listed here are 5 sadly common SAHD myths stay-at-home fathers frequently:
1. Don’t belief a SAHD together with your youngsters
This is among the most annoying and horrific SAHD myths. One in every of my fellow panelists answered such a pedophile implication with, “That seems like a ‘you’ downside, not a ‘dad’ downside.” The viewers ate it up!
We weren’t speaking about leaving your little one with a stranger. I wouldn’t depart mine alone with somebody I used to be not utterly snug with, man or girl. Moreover, I wouldn’t depart my youngsters alone with anybody THEY weren’t utterly snug with.
However labeling a stay-at-home father “untrustworthy” just because he’s a man? That viewers member I first talked about was lifeless fallacious in her perception {that a} dad can’t be deserving of belief just because he has a penis.
2. Fathers can’t bond with youngsters like moms can
I hear SAHD myths like this on a regular basis: Positive, dads may be nice mother and father, however they’ll by no means have the identical relationship with their youngsters as moms.
I don’t deny the laborious work and heroic efforts ladies endure throughout being pregnant and childbirth. A honest “thanks” to all moms. You introduced us dads the best reward on the planet. (So cease with the ties on Father’s Day: they’re ugly and we don’t like them.)
However, women, the youngsters are simply as a lot ours as they’re yours.
I felt a bond with my youngsters the first time I laid eyes on them. My daughter was a daddy’s lady from day one, usually to the exclusion of my spouse. (One thing that triggered tears on a couple of event.) This stuff ebb and circulate, and Mommy is the favourite as of late. Not, nonetheless, due to some bond that I used to be not aware about as a result of I’ve a penis.
3. Keep-at-home dads usually are not nurturers
What? Extra gender stereotyping SAHD myths! I’m bodily unable to select up my 2-year-old son with out kissing and hugging (and often tickling) him.
There are definitely instances when he prefers his mother, however bedtime is Dad Time. When he is aware of he’s drained, he crawls into my arms. And when he’s drained, however doesn’t comprehend it, I can calm his screams and get him to go to sleep far faster than my spouse can. I believe my scent soothes him. I do know his scent soothes me.
Nurturing, it needs to be stated, goes past all of the hugs and kisses I give my youngsters. I nurture their spirit, confidence, schooling, and sense of enjoyable (and typically mischief). Individuals who don’t assume stay-at-home dads nurture haven’t seen a stay-at-home dad in motion.
4. At-home fathers are attempting to be higher than mothers.
Are dads higher stay-at-home mother and father than mothers? What a dumb, meaningless query. However that’s what the discuss present producers needed us to argue. Dads usually are not higher than mothers. And mothers usually are not higher than us.
Parenting just isn’t a contest!
I don’t work towards my spouse to boost our kids; I work together with her. That we father or mother otherwise is a profit to our youngsters. They get the most effective of each worlds.
5. SAHDs are the one fathers worthy of consideration
Keep-at-home dads are so scorching proper now! However we’re nonetheless within the minority. Not solely in comparison with stay-at-home mothers, however in comparison with all of the lively and concerned fathers who go to work (or make money working from home) day-after-day and are co-equal mother and father each evening. Why are they being ignored by the media?
Keep-at-home dads are on the forefront of the altering picture of fathers, however working dads deserve our consideration, too. Like working mothers, they’re attempting to have all of it and needs to be lauded for his or her efforts. It isn’t being executed sufficient, so I’ll do it right here. You guys are defeating the stereotype of the lazy, bumbling dad who doesn’t know his means round a diaper. Sustain the great work, on the workplace and at residence.
A model of SAHD myths was initially printed by Time Concepts earlier than it ran right here in 2014. Photograph by Juliane Liebermann on Unsplash.
This weblog publish is a part of the #NoDadAlone marketing campaign. Fathering Collectively/Metropolis Dads Group, the Nationwide At-House Dad Community, and Fathers Eve are becoming a member of forces to amplify messages that assist dads acknowledge we’re not alone! Observe #NoDadAlone on Instagram, and study extra at NoDadAlone.com.
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