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Earlier than Chuck Norris grew to become a meme, he was the Texas Walker Ranger. He was a good-hearted Texas-made sheriff who removed all of the wayward trash and unhealthy guys on the town. He was and is the OG robust man and if you happen to’ve by no means seen him kick somebody of their face, you must positively take a look at some movies. There’s a purpose there are such a lot of jokes about him and his swift kick-ass strikes are one among them. So if you happen to’re in search of some hilarious Chuck Norris content material, you’ve come to the suitable place.
In the event you’re a toddler of the web, that there are solely two makes use of for the world broad net: Chuck Norris jokes and… nope, that’s it! With exaggerated feats of energy and machismo, Chuck Norris information come collectively to kind essentially the most absurd assortment of achievements which are sure to depart you in tears. Have you learnt who else will depart you in tears? Chuck Norris. Forward are among the funniest Chuck Norris jokes to chortle your coronary heart out to.
In search of extra humor about issues that kick? We now have donkey jokes, horse jokes, kangaroo jokes, and extra jokes for teenagers.
1. Chuck Norris doesn’t flush the bathroom. He scares the sh*t out of it.
2. When Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mother dwelling from the hospital.
3. When Chuck Norris slices onions, the onions cry.
4. Chuck Norris counted to infinity — twice.
5. When the boogeyman goes to sleep at evening, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
6. Chuck Norris makes use of ribbed condoms inside out, so he will get the pleasure.
7. Time waits for no man. Until that man is Chuck Norris.
8. There is no such thing as a principle of evolution, only a record of animals Chuck Norris permits to stay.
9. Chuck Norris doesn’t truly write books. The phrases assemble themselves out of worry.
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10. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.
11. Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
12. Dying as soon as had a near-Chuck-Norris expertise.
13. Chuck Norris is aware of Victoria’s secret.
14. When Chuck Norris was in center faculty, his English trainer assigned an essay: “What’s braveness?” He obtained an A-plus for delivering a clean web page with solely his identify on the prime.
15. When God mentioned, “Let there be LIGHT!” Chuck Norris mentioned, “Say, please.”
16. Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one chook.
17. Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic desk as a result of Chuck Norris solely acknowledges the aspect of shock.
18. There is no such thing as a chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There’s solely one other fist.
19. Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
20. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
21. Chuck Norris doesn’t put on a watch. He merely decides what time it’s.
22. Chuck Norris constructed the hospital he was born in.
23. When Chuck Norris turned 18, his dad and mom moved out.
24. Chuck Norris doesn’t sleep. He waits.
25. Chuck Norris has been to Mars. That’s why there are not any indicators of life there.
26. Chuck Norris as soon as ate a Rubik’s Dice and pooped it out solved.
27. The flu has to get Chuck Norris pictures yearly.
28. The Lifeless Sea was alive earlier than Chuck Norris swam there.
29. Chuck Norris doesn’t fill out on-line kinds as a result of he doesn’t submit.
30. Chuck Norris starred in Star Wars. He was the drive.
31. Chuck Norris likes his meat so uncommon he solely eats unicorns.
32. Chuck Norris doesn’t learn books. He stares them down till he will get the data he desires.
33. Chuck Norris has a mug of nails as a substitute of espresso within the morning.
34. If Chuck Norris had been to journey to an alternate dimension during which there was one other Chuck Norris and so they each fought, they might each win.
35. Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless cellphone.
36. Chuck Norris can kill your imaginary buddies.
37. Chuck Norris can hear signal language.
38. Chuck Norris tells Simon what to do.
39. Chuck Norris misplaced his virginity earlier than his dad did.
40. If it seems like hen, tastes like hen, and seems like hen, however Chuck Norris says it’s beef, it’s beef.
41. Chuck Norris doesn’t personal a range, oven, or microwave, as a result of revenge is a dish greatest served chilly.
42. Chuck Norris has by no means blinked in his whole life. By no means.
43. Chuck Norris can communicate braille.
44. Chuck Norris as soon as had a coronary heart assault. His coronary heart misplaced.
45. Chuck Norris doesn’t cheat dying. He wins truthful and sq..
46. Chuck Norris is the explanation Waldo is hiding.
48. Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow beneath his gun.
49. MC Hammer discovered the exhausting manner that Chuck Norris can contact this.
50. Chuck refers to himself within the fourth individual.
51. The one time Chuck Norris was ever mistaken was when he thought he had made a mistake.
52. A bulletproof vest wears Chuck Norris for defense.
53. Chuck Norris as soon as gained an underwater respiration contest with a fish.
54. Chuck Norris narrates Morgan Freeman’s life.
55. The Nice Wall of China was created to maintain Chuck Norris out. It didn’t work.
56. It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to look at 60 Minutes.
57. Chuck Norris as soon as ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was informed.
58. Bigfoot claims he as soon as noticed Chuck Norris.
59. Chuck Norris can sit within the nook of a spherical room.
60. Chuck Norris could make a slinky go upstairs.
61. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon.
62. Chuck Norris can clap with one hand.
63. Chuck Norris invented airplanes as a result of he was uninterested in being the one one that may fly.
64. Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris.
65. Chuck Norris’ cowboy boots are produced from actual cowboys.
66. Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow as a result of it was following too shut behind him. It now stands again a protected 30 toes.
67. Earlier than he forgot a present for Chuck Norris, Santa Claus was actual.
68. Chuck Norris doesn’t have to shave. His beard is scared to develop.
69. Chuck Norris needed to cease washing his garments within the ocean. Too many tsunamis.
70. Chuck Norris can prepare dinner minute rice in 30 seconds.
71. Chuck Norris as soon as made a Completely happy Meal cry.
72. When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn’t flip the lights on. He turns the darkish off.
73. Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.
74. Chuck Norris could make a snowman out of fireplace.
75. When Chuck Norris jumps right into a pool, he doesn’t get moist. The water will get Chuck Norris.
76. Chuck Norris can win a staring contest along with his eyes closed.
77. Chuck Norris can win a sport of Join 4 in simply three strikes.
78. Chuck Norris can lick a 9-volt battery and never get shocked.
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